I punch you right in your stupid face yo!

The Charge:
Little Mac is Back!

Opening Statement:
If there ever was a case of a video game developer catching lightning in a bottle, it would be Nintendo with their late 80s exultant ode to pugilism, Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! on the original NES.  Picture the sweet science cranked all the way to 11, and that pretty much sums up what Punch-Out!! was all about.  Yet despite the simplicity of the game play, in 22 years, never again has a video game so depicted boxing with the same level  of success  as that beloved little NES title, not even its own sequel Super Punch-Out!! seven years later seemed to measure up.  After skipping two whole console generations, Little Mac and co have spent the past 15 years training for a comeback.  Following a brief flirtation with digital fisticuffs in Wii Sports Boxing, the Wii seemed like the natural stage for said return performance.  But is this once proud champion truly ready to step back into the squared circle, or is Punch-Out!! one fighter that should’ve spent a little longer in the gym?

Most gamers will thrill at the chance to pound Nicolas Cage in the guts.

Facts of the Case:
Little Mac, the nonpareil underdog pugilist of Nintendo’s Punch-Out!! franchise is on a quest to become the undisputed champion of the boxing world, and he’s looking to take us gamers along for the ride.  Standing 5’7, and weighing 107 lbs soaking wet, this Bronx born runt will have his work cut out for him, as he faces a cavalcade of some of the most outrageous prizefighters ever captured in a video-game.  Using the Wii’s much-lauded motion control scheme, players will assist Mac in performing deft dodges and delivering punishing punches to a roster of cartoonish stereotypes that are sure to bring a nostalgic smile to most gamers’ faces.  Lace up your boots and put up your dukes!

The Evidence:
Okay, any readers who owned a Nintendo Entertainment System, put up your hand.  Now, any among you who would place the original Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! amongst the upper echelon of games for the NES; keep your hand raised.  There’s no doubt about it, the Punch-Out!! franchise is considered beloved treasure for any gamers from the late 80s and early 90s.  Simple yes, but don’t write the series off there, as there are very few games that get as brick-in-the-face hard to master as Punch-Out!! .  Which is why I’m very proud to be able to lay to rest any doubts that any of my Wii-owning readers may have had about Nintendo’s attempted Punch-Out!! revival.  This is the real deal boys and girls.  12 classic Punch-Out opponents, one brand-new pugilist, and a timeless bruiser from the early days of the series re-imagined as a fearsome new last boss (that’s right, no more Mr. Dream).  All spread across three championship circuits that should be enough to satisfy even the nit-pickiest of gamers.

A bandage? Real inconspicuous your majesty.

The name of the game in Punch-Out (well, not the real name, but you get the idea) is counter-attacking.  Learning your opponent’s tells and mapping out exactly what they’re going to throw in your direction.  Find a way around their offense, dig a tunnel through their defense and rock their bodies with measured combinations.  Throw too few punches and you lose precious seconds off the clock while waiting for another opportunity, throw too many and Mac will tire as the opposition drain his stamina with a wall of defense.  Structurally, Punch-Out!! is a near-identical remake of the original NES Magnum Opus.  It’s a careful blend of memorization and speed/reflexes.  Experienced gamers will shave through the first circuit with little trouble, however 5 opponents in, the game kicks into high gear and it’s not an odd occurrence to be knocked out 5 times in a row while trying to learn how to deal with each fighter.  Plus, once gamers have finally managed to put together that desperate last minute TKO against the final opponent after being continuously fed to the mat for three hours; Punch-Out!! starts Little Mac on his title defense, and players will find that every fighter now have new stratagems and new special attacks to unleash (take for example; Von Kaiser gains a new instant-knock down cartwheel punch, and King Hippo covers his one known weak-point with a manhole cover).  It effectively doubles the game’s length, which is a really neat feature considering I can’t remember the last time a game had a “second quest” included.  One word of warning for the easily frustrated; you will spend more time on the canvas then Rembrandt in finishing Punch-Out!!.  It’s a savagely challenging title, but one that makes gamers’ feel like a million bucks when they do put together the speed and skill to overcome.

See, his skin turns red because he's a communi...never mind.

Rebuttal Witness:
If I HAD to complain about Punch-Out!! (and believe me, I don’t want to), I’d bring up the new multiplayer game that feels as if it was tacked on at the last minute.  Players have been clamoring for a multi-player mode since the 1987 original release, and after a 22 year wait I’m sorry to say that the mode included simply isn’t enough.  For one; the only selectable fighter is Little Mac, and instead of a full-on boxing match, it plays out more like a race to accumulate more landed punches.  The player who fills up an energy meter first is able to transform into a monstrous “Giga-Mac” form and usually score a very decisive knock-out within a few seconds.  Interesting to say the least, but I for one wish they had let players use Punch-Out’s roster of insane fighters and made the matches more like the single player mode.  As well, of the three control schemes made available; the two which make use of the Wii’s motion controls (as well as one with the Wii Fit balance board) feel just a sliver on the sluggish side.  It’s not really game breaking, though using either will require most gamers to rethink the timing of their counter attacks in order to compensate for the split second delay.  Again, not much of a complaint as purists can simply hold the Wii-mote sideways and play Punch-Out!! just like they did the original.

Aw hell

Closing Statement:
Outside of those little pin-prick complaints, there’s not much more a fan of Punch-Out!! could ask for in this release.  Outside of a few more fighters, and maybe Mike Tyson himself (and objectively speaking, I feel that if a game has succeeded to the level where the only complaint is the player wanting more, it doesn’t count as a complaint), Nintendo and next level Games have done an admirable job in updating their fisticuffs classic into a first round knock out of a game.  Punch-Out!! hits hard!

The Verdict:

Platform: Nintendo Wii
Developer: Next Level
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: May 19th, 2009
Rated: E for Everyone 10+