(Screenshot via Game Watch)
No doubt deciding that touchscreen controls were the missing element to make the game easy and enjoyable to play, Capcom has announced at the Tokyo Game Show that the eponymous, tear-generating side-scroller Ghouls ‘n Ghosts is being ported to the iPhone platform. I tremble with terror.
According to Touch Arcade, the game will resemble the PSP version Ultimate Ghosts ‘n Goblins, mixing 2D and 3D elements. No price or release date have been announced yet.
Seriously, Capcom, why do you want your audience to cry tears of rage? This franchise has been naught but merciless on gamers the world over for more than twenty years. Were we not despondent and depressed enough now for your tastes? Do you really see the need to punish gamers with a game (already near-impossible in difficulty and unforgiving controls) by mashing a glass screen with our thumbs?
I mean, you already can’t time your jumps correctly playing Ghosts ‘n Goblins. The thought of doing that with an iPhone…
(via Touch Arcade)
By Adam Arseneau
But how will we throw the controller through the screen? Stab our thumb through? Snap the iPhone in half? Bludgeon it off of an end table until it explodes into a multitude of lethal shards?
I plan on just squeezing the iPhone so hard with apoplectic rage and fury that it DISINTEGRATES.
Be like the villain in a cheesy 80s anime, hold it up, squeeze for a few seconds, and then give a big bear trap evil grin or a Bruce lee screech when the iPhone E•X•P•L•O•D•E•S under the strain.