Universal has secured the rights to adapt the classic video game Asteroids into a feature film. If this statement in of itself was not strange enough, let me add to the story thusly:

Universal has won a four-studio bidding war and secured the rights to adapt the classic video game Asteroids into a feature film. Yep, that’s right. Hollywood is fighting over this, ladies and gentleman. Fighting over a game that looks like this:

Can't you just see Brad Pitt as the triangle?

Did they really need the actual rights to a game franchise from 1979 to make a movie about busting rocks in space? Is this not essentially the second and third act of Armageddon? I realize Hollywood and video games have an interesting, parasitic relationship where big stacks of money change hands, and fans pull their hair out in gigantic clumps, but who is clamoring for an Asteroids movie exactly? Does anyone even care?

Hey Dave, now here’s a Symposium topic for you: Video Game Franchises That Should Never Be Turned Into Movies. I leave it to you to find a way to work Screech or Zack Morris into that, you glorious bastard.

(via /film)